Family · For the home · Motherhood · Women

“Stay at Home Mom” Debunked

Before I became a mom, these were my private thoughts:

“What does a stay at home mom (SAHM) do all day? Sure, I get that you’re really busy if you have 3, 4 or 5 kids, or even if you have two tiny kids, but what do you do all day if you only have one kid???”

My remembrance of my mom when we were little was when she had three of us and we were all at home/homeschooled. Of course that’s a lot of work! But what do you do all day with one tiny baby?

It’s a harsh reality to realize that right now, I have it “easy” as a mom. I have one kid. And she isn’t even mobile yet. And let me tell you… IT IS FARRR FROM EASY; IT IS HARD WORK! Most days I feel like I am getting my butt kicked by a 5 month old, 15 pound baby girl. Those days are definitely more prominent than the “I have it all together” days.

I don’t blame myself or anyone who doesn’t understand what being a SAHM is like because you can’t understand it until you live it. Or any type of mom for that matter.

I constantly am living on the line of not letting Lily control my life, but also she kind of does have the trump card right now because my job is to keep her alive, healthy, and loved.

Easier said than done. It’s a good day if I have time to put makeup on and get dressed.

Here is a sample schedule of part of our day:

10:30 am Lily wakes up from nap

10:30 – 10:50 I pump milk for her

10:50- 11 I feed her bottle

11- 11:10 I clean bottle and all pumping parts

11:10- 11:30 I play with her

11:30-11:40 She poops everywhere and I have to clean her up

11:40- 12 I try to put her down to play so I can clean up the house or get dressed (but doesn’t always happen because she cries and wants to be held)

12 – 12:15 I make lunch and eat

12:15-12:30 I put her down for a nap

Nap time for 30-45 min- errands (Jimmy works at home), dinner prep, clean, laundry, emails/answer texts, try to get dressed again, and any other tasks I need to get done that day

And then the cycle starts over again.

It is my JOY to take care of my girl. I honestly miss her when she sleeps because I want to be with her and play with her. This routine is a privilege and I am so honored that God has appointed me to be Lily’s mom. It is my favorite thing I’ve ever done.

But my point is that SAHM duties and tasks never end. For the working person, most can “clock out” at a certain time, but that is not possible as a mom. We are ALWAYS on duty.

So recently, as I have been feeling more adjusted to the mom life, I have a desire to invest time into my passions and skill/gifts that God has given me outsides of being a mom and wife.

I am the type of person that wants to jump into something as soon as it catches my interest. I have had so many ideas pop into my head that stir me up with excitement, but then I remind myself to be patient and pray first. I don’t want to commit to anything that would take my energy away from being a mom unless it is something that is clearly what God wants me to do. I would love to make money for our family, but I am checking my intentions behind that first. I would love to get involved in a ministry, but I am making sure that it is God’s desire for me and not just my desire.

Being a SAHM is a high honor and calling. Not anyone can jump into it. I love being a SAHM, but I also have so many other passions and desires that I want to pursue. But one thing is for sure. God has called me first to be a mom. And now I am waiting to see what He will call me to do next alongside of being a mom.

I love reading Proverbs 31.  I hate that there’s a stereotype of the Christian woman being the the weak, lesser one… staying quiet, sitting around to not get dirty, but also she can’t look TOO good. That is the opposite of who God describes in Proverbs 31. This isn’t saying exactly what a woman NEEDS to be, but a woman should strive to be like…

  • she works with her hands
  • she is a merchant
  • she is a provider for her house
  • she is a savvy business woman
  • she is strong, mentally and physically
  • she is generous
  • she is fearless
  • she is always prepared
  • she is finely dressed
  • she is wise
  • she is kind
  • she is active
  • she builds up the reputation of her husband and family publicly

And I can only be this type of woman as I follow and pursue Christ first. He is the one who guides us and gives us the desire and strength to be a strong Proverbs 31 woman.

This doesn’t intimidate me, but inspires me that I CAN be this woman. THIS is what a stay-at-home mom is all about. Our culture makes it seem like a SAHM doesn’t really do anything but tends to her child and stays in her home. But this Proverbs 31 “SAHM” is fierce, beautiful, and ready for great things!

 

So I wear my SAHM title proudly. And I am constantly praying and ready for what God has me to do next.

 

What about you? Do you feel proud about being a SAHM? Do you feel like you’re settling? What do you think that God is calling you to do as a SAHM?

2 thoughts on ““Stay at Home Mom” Debunked

  1. Beautiful, love it! I’ve struggled with it too and still do! Since becoming a mom I’ve had seasons where I have been completely consumed with my son and my duties at home, and others where I have done other things/work. There is no right or wrong way to do it, we are ultimately called to obedience and that’s what gives us peace in each season of this journey <3

  2. I love how strong you are! I have a 5 month year old and I just recently became a single mom.. I have to admit it’s one of the hardest things iv ever had to do I have no one to talk to and sometimes I feel like I’m slipping towards depression. I love my baby boy with all my heart and I plan on giving him the best life possible but never did I think that I would be doing this all alone. I wish I was as strong as you and I hope to build up to that one day.

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